The Random Life of Saiyuki
by Michiru Lee
Summary: Mixed with other anime characters like Trigun and Inuyasha, this story turnd out to be really the random life of the Sanzo Party during their trip West and when they are on vacation.
1. Random Stuff

Chapter 1

RANDOM STUFF

NOTE: Saiyuki does not belong to me like this story, nor is any other anime mention in this fanfic. Though I wish it was… -cries-

Michiru Lee: Welcome to my Fan Fiction! Today we have…

Goku: I'm hungry…

Gojyo: Shut up monkey! Let the honey speak!

Michiru: 'Honey!' Grr…

Hakkai: I think you made her made Gojyo.

Gojyo: Why should the honey be mad?

Michiru: -punches Gojyo upside head and watches him fall to the ground- You called me a honey. Stupid water sprite…

Sanzo: I should shoot you all.

Goku: I want some meat buns…

Michiru: I got some! -Brings out a tray of meat buns-

Goku: Yay! -Takes the tray and eats them-

Hakkai: Well this was a good opening.

Gojyo: I beg to differ… -falls back to ground in pain-

Goku: -still eating meat buns-

**(Taking the bus Part 1)**

Hakkai: We should take the bus to town today.

Gojyo: Why? Can't we take Hakuryu?

Hakkai: Well, he has a cold today, so I'm letting him rest.

Sanzo: I don't care how we get there, but we are leaving now. I need more smokes.

Goku: I hope we can get some meat buns!

-Waiting at bus stop when bus comes-

Michiru: Welcome to the Dragon Express! Please put the change in the bin.

Gojyo: Wow, the honey is here…

Hakkai: How convenient… So Ms. Michiru why are you driving the bus?

Michiru: I got to make a living somehow. -kicking Gojyo into the ground- (living off her parents really…)

Goku: Wow! Water sprite is being beaten by a girl!

Gojyo: -dizzy- Shut up monkey!

Goku: Kappa!

Gojyo: Monkey!

Sanzo: I got a headache from you two. If you want to be shot keep talking.

Michiru: Sanzo you're the greatest!

Sanzo: I should shoot you too…

Michiru: Okay… -closes door of bus and starts driving- Please take a seat while I'm driving. No passing the white line or I'll have to stop the bus and kick you.

-Goku and Sanzo sits next to some guy in red and two girls while Hakkai and Gojyo sits next to some other guy-

Meryl: Now Milly, we are going to buy more pudding when we get into town.

Milly: But I want pudding now!

Goku: What's pudding?

Milly: A dessert that I love!

Vash: I like these donuts more… -Eating a donut out of the box on his lap-

Goku: Can I try one?

Vash: Sure! -hands Goku a donut-

Goku: eats donut MMM… This is just as good as meat buns!

Gojyo: Great now he will be begging for them too.

Meryl: I know what you mean. –sigh-

Sanzo: I think my headache is getting worst…

Vash: You should try one too. -puts donut in Sanzo's face-

Hakkai: I wouldn't do that…

Sanzo: -pulls out his gun and starts firing at Vash-

Michiru: Vash! Stop putting food in everyone's face!

Vash: -dodging the bullets I only wanted to see if he wanted one. pulls out his angel are and aims it at Sanzo-

Sanzo: -drops gun- Damn!

Goku: -examines the arm- How you do that? Does it shoot food?

Gojyo: Think of all the honeys I can get with that!

Knives: The only honeys you can get are some beestings.

Hakkai: Judging from the bus route it is going to take two days to get to town.

Everyone: TWO DAYS! -looks at Michiru-

Michiru: Hehe… Did I forget to mention that?

Sanzo: -aims gun at Michiru- Drive… Fast…

Michiru: -passes out-

Vash: Dude, you made her faint.

Goku: Are we gonna eat soon?

Gojyo: Way to go Sanzo. Now who is gonna drive the bus?

Milly: I can!

Meyral and Knives: NO!

Hakkai: l-ays Michiru on seat- Looks like we got to wait.

**(Bonus: Bowling With the Sanzo Party)**

-The group is at the bowling alley and Sanzo has 12 strikes so far-

Gojyo: Wow Sanzo your one away from a 300 game.

Hakkai: Yeah and Goku got only a 10.

Goku: I'm too hungry to bowl…

Gojyo: You're always too hungry to do anything.

Goku: Kappa!

Gojyo: Monkey!

Sanzo: -let's go of ball and watch it goes down the lane. It hits the pins and 9 are knocked down and the last one is spinning-

Gojyo: Looks like you missed…

-BANG-

Hakkai: Looks like he got it after all… -sighs-

Sanzo: -holding the gun in the air and smiling-

Goku and Gojyo: -hugging each other in shock-

Hakkai: This is going to be a long game…

**(Comedy Hour)**

Announcer: Welcome to Comedy Hour with Vash the Stampede! Today guests are Son Goku and Milly!

Vash: Welcome Goku and Milly. How was the trip?

Milly: There was no pudding…

Goku: There wasn't no food either…

Announcer: I beg to differ. The airline bill comes to a total of five million yen worth of pudding and meat buns.

Vash: Five million yen?

Goku: Still wasn't enough…

Milly: Nope…

Gojyo: You stupid monkey! Why didn't you bring me a doggie bag!

Knives: He is the doggy bag. –snickers-

Sanzo: Shut your faces or I'll shoot!

Knives: -brings out his Angel Arm- Try it…

Milly: -pulls out her gattling gun and fires it into the audience-

Gojyo: OI! What the Hell! -ducks behind seat-

Goku: Is it lunchtime yet?

Vash: Your ruining my show… -cries-

Announcer: I need a new job… -sighs-

(Thirty minutes and a totaled room later)

Sanzo: Goku, I'm leaving! -lights up a smoke-

-bullet flies though air and knocks it out of his mouth-

Sanzo: Who the Hell did that?

Meyral: No smoking! There are kids reading this!

Goku: Reading what?

Meyral: What we are saying right now.

Milly: -beep-

Meyral: Milly!

Goku: What's -beep-? Is beep some kind of food? I wanna -BEEP-!

Gojyo: Your too young for that kind of thing.

Meyral: -falls to ground-

Vash: -still crying over his ruined show-

Knives: -laughing at everyone-

Sanzo: I give up… -lights another smoke and leaves-

Goku: I wanna -BEEP-!

Gojyo: Give it up. -also leaves-

Knives: -still laughing-

**(End of Chapter 1) **


	2. Random Stuff 2

**Note: All of Saiyuki and the following do not belong to me, except for the story itself… No matter how hard I try to imagine that they are.**

**(Taking the Bus Part 2)**

Sanzo: Why are you looking at me like that?

Knives: Cause you made the driver and author of this fanfic faint.

Milly: What shall we do? I need pudding!

Goku: -Eating donuts out of box-

Vash: So who is going to drive?

Hakkai: I guess I will have to. -gets in driver seat-

Gojyo: I hope Sanzo doesn't give him orders…

Meyrl: Why?

Sanzo: Hakkai drive off that cliff! It should cut the time for getting into town!

Hakkai: Okay Sanzo! -starts driving towards cliff-

Everyone but Hakkai and Sanzo: AAAHHH!

-Bus nose dives off cliff and lands in the sand-

Gojyo: Hakkai… that is the second time you have done that! If you do that again, I'll make sure something other than wine goes into your drink!

-Bus starts to move and Michiru wakes up-

Michiru: Umm… Why is the bus moving?

Goku: I'm hungry… -licking empty donut box-

Vash: My donuts… -cries-

Knives: I think we're sinking.

Meryl: Everyone out now!

-Everyone jumps onto the secured ground and the bus starts sinking, Michiru starts sinking too-

Michiru: HELP!

Gojyo: Why should we help you?

Michiru: Because I'm the one writing this fanfic you stupid Kappa!

Goku: I'm too hungry to help…

Vash: -still crying over the donuts-

Milly: Umm… What should I do? -runs around with hands in the air-

Michiru: -waist covered in sand- Are you gonna let me die?

Knives: Yes.

Meryl: -runs over and grabs Michiru's hand- I got you!

-Hakkai runs over as well and grabs Meryl-

Sanzo: You are all annoying! -walks over and pulls Michiru up easily-

Michiru: -tearing- You saved me Sanzo! Thank you! -hugs him-

Sanzo: Get the hell off me!

Michiru: -lets go and looks at the bus sinking-

(One hour and no bus later)

Michiru: I am so fired…

Vash: Well it was Hakkai's fault.

Gojyo: Well I would put the blame on Sanzo.

Sanzo: -puts gun in Gojyo's face- What did you say water sprite?

Gojyo: -afraid- Umm… I mean… Yes it is Hakkai's fault!

Hakkai: -embarrassed- Well, I didn't think we would land in quicksand.

Goku: You didn't think at all.

Hakkai: I think Hakuryu feels better.

Michiru: So who is going to pay for the bus? Anyone got around two hundred thousand yen? 

Sanzo: Take it off my golden goddess credit card…

Gojyo: I am never taking the bus again!

-Hakuryu changes himself to a jeep-

Hakkai: Everyone in!

-Hakkai jumps in driver's seat, Sanzo gets into the passenger's side, and Michiru sits between them. Everyone else is jammed in the back-

Gojyo: Move over monkey!

Goku: You move over water sprite!

Gojyo: Monkey!

Goku: Stupid kappa!

Gojyo: Stupid monkey.

-BANG-

Michiru: Now are you two going to shut up? –holding a shotgun towards them-

Sanzo: -drops his jaw in surprise- Wow… That shut them up.

-Goku and Gojyo hugging each other-

Knives: Go get a room you two!

Hakkai: This is going to be a long ride… -sigh-

**(Bonus: Michiru and Sanzo, 'Nighttime Mood')**

Michiru: So how do you keep Goku and Gojyo from fighting while you sleep?

Sanzo: Nothing a gun can't handle.

Michiru: What do you mean by that?

Sanzo: -pulls on a string and you hear a bang. Closet door opens with Goku and Gojyo tied up with a gun aimed above their heads-

Michiru: Oh…

-Goku and Gojyo struggle against the ropes-

Gojyo: When I get out of here…

-BANG-

Michiru: They are going to have a long night… -sigh-

**(Meeting the Shomas)**

Goku: I'm hungry… I want some meat buns… -stomach growls- 

-Everyone else's stomach growls-

Hakkai: I think I agree with Goku for once.

Sanzo: I need a smoke…

Gojyo: I need some honeys…

Michiru: I need a life…

-Everyone stares at Michiru in shock-

Gojyo: OI! How the Hell you get here?

Michiru: I don't know. I just was here. Maybe I'm some kind of God…

Sanzo: Don't you mean Goddess?

Goku: Are you the Goddess of Meat Buns?

Gojyo: And I'm the God of Honeys. Now come here…

-A shotgun barrel appears in Gojyo's face-

Michiru: Care to finish that line?

Gojyo: -girly voice- No…

Sanzo: Cut it out! Hakkai where is the next town? 

Hakkai: About a day away. If we push it we can be there by dinner.

Goku: Yay!

-Suddenly a snowstorm starts-

Sanzo: Hell… Snow in a desert.

Hakkai: Yes, like we didn't expect that.

Goku: But we didn't…

Michiru and Gojyo: Stupid monkey…

Hakkai: I see a house up ahead. Let's ask to stay the night.

Sanzo: They better have some smokes…

-Michiru goes up to knock on the door-

Michiru: Remind me why I'm knocking again…

Gojyo: So we can offer you as payment for the night.

Michiru: Bastard! –jumps on top of Gojyo and starts beating him-

Gojyo: You stupid woman!

Sanzo: Shut up!

Gojyo and Michiru: NO!

Sanzo: -shoots at them with gun-

Michiru and Gojyo: -get up off the ground and dodges the bullets-

Hakkai: -sighs and knocks on the door-

-girl appears at door-

Girl: Hello I'm Toharu!

Hakkai: Hello Miss Toharu. I was just wondering if our little group could stay the night.

Shigure: Toharu, who's at the door?

Toharu: Just some people caught in the snowstorm.

Shigure: Well let them in Toharu. I hope there is a girl among them… -gets hit over the head-

Kugura: You pervert! Now tell me where my Kyo is!

Shigure: I don't know where he is Kugura… -slips put of room and makes a run for it-

Goku: Umm… I smell food…

Toharu: Well I just got done making dinner. Why don't you join us, tonight is meat buns and rice balls.

Goku and Michiru: Hooray!

(At the dinner table)

Kyo: I'm going to beat you rat!

Yuki: You're still nothing but a stupid cat…

Ayame: Oh Sanzo, who does your hair? I just love it! –claps hands together-

Sanzo: Leave me alone…

Shigure: So Michiru are you single?

Michiru: Not at all, I'm going to be Sanzo's wife!

-room gets silent except Goku is still eating-

Sanzo: You're kidding right?

Michiru: Nope!

Gojyo: No wonder she keeps showing up…

Hakkai: I have to admit they are suited for each other.

Sanzo: I will shoot you Hakkai!

Toharu: I'm so glad for you both! I hope that you become a happy couple!

Yuki: Yes you should be proud.

Kyo: Why should I care…

Kugura: I'm going to marry Kyo! –puts Kyo in choke hold-

Kyo: Ack! No you're not! –struggles to get free-

Shigure: -in the corner crying-

Ayame: I can make you the prefect wedding dress Michiru!

Kugura: Kyo and me make such a prefect couple!

Kyo: No we do not! –still struggling-

Sanzo: There is no way I'm marrying you!

Michiru: But Sanzo you already signed the contract.

Sanzo: What contract?

(Two nights ago)

Michiru: Sign this Sanzo. It will get you a one-way ticket west on a train.

Sanzo: -drunk- Okay. –signs the paper-

(Present)

Sanzo: You bitch! You tricked me!

Michiru: I know… -haves the biggest smile on face-

Gojyo: Way to go Sanzo…

Shigure: Reminds me of someone who made me do something like that.

Yuki: That was your Editor…

Shigure: Oh right… Wonder what she is up too.

Ayame: So you want lace or leather?

Toharu: Aww… Kyo and Kugura look sweet together.

Kyo: -gave up-

Goku: I'm still hungry…

-everyone falls onto the floor-

End 


	3. Random Stuff Again

**Note: Saiyuki does not belong to me nor does any other anime in this fan fiction, though in my mind I wish it were.**

**(Time Travel)**

Hakkai: What a beautiful day it is.

Gojyo: If a 120-degree desert is what you call beautiful.

Goku: I'm hungry…

Sanzo: Shut up…

Goku: Need meat buns…

Gojyo: Shut up stupid monkey!

Goku: Leave me alone Kappa!

Gojyo: Monkey!

Goku: Kappa!

Sanzo: -fires gun into the air- Shut up both of you!

Hakkai: Sanzo watch where you fire that gun. That bullet almost hit Hakuryu.

-a bright light surrounds them and they land in a hot spring-

Woman in water: OI! I thought I was on vacation! I didn't want to see you four again!

Gojyo: OI! It's a naked honey!

-two other girls are in the hot spring screaming while Michiru is trying to drown Gojyo-

Hakkai: I see Michiru is here.

Sanzo: Damn!

-a guy with white hair and dog ears jumps into the water-

Michiru: Kagome get Inu Yasha out of here!

Kagome: SIT!

Inu Yasha: Shit! –falls into the water face first-

Goku: Are you guys cooking something?

-everyone falls into the water-

(Sometime later)

Michiru: I can't believe how perverted you four have become, except Gojyo! Not that I wouldn't mind Sanzo seeing me naked…

Sanzo: I should shoot myself…

Gojyo: It that why you tied me up and hung me from a tree?

Kagome: You're worst than Miroku! Right Sango?

Sango: I must agree… -nods head-

Goku: At least the food is good! –munching on meat buns-

Michiru: Well I have improved from the last time I made them, but I was supposed to be on vacation! Grr… -hits Gojyo on head-

Gojyo: Ow!

Inu Yasha: So what is your name?

Hakkai: Hakkai. So where are we?

Inu Yasha: The past. Like Kagome you must be from the present.

Hakkai: Don't you mean the future?

Inu Yasha: No the present.

Hakkai: How odd…

Miroku: Too bad you didn't bring any female companions with you. But Sango… Do I have to be tied up as well?

All the women: Yes!

Miroku: -sigh- Ok…

Sanzo: I need a smoke…

Michiru: Well you won't get any here sweetkins.

Sanzo: Sweetkins? I should…

Michiru: -grabs her shotgun and points it at his face- Should what?

Sanzo: Nothing…

Kagome: These meat buns are done.

Goku: -grabs the tray- Thanks!

Gojyo: Don't forget about me! I'm hungry too!

-cricket chirps-

Gojyo: -sigh-

**(Bonus: Sanzo Party in a Bookstore)**

Hakkai: Wow look at all these books!

Sanzo: Think we can find a Sutra Scroll here?

Goku: Look at all the food!

Hakkai: That's just a picture Goku.

Goku: Still looks good.

Gojyo: OI! –flipping though pages of a porno- These honeys are hot!

Sanzo: This one seems good. –picks up a book called, "How to Control Your Primate"- This can help me out. –looks at Goku-

Hakkai: Goku don't eat the books!

Goku: -chewing a book called, "101 Ways to Make Meat Buns-

Hakkai: I hope we have enough money for the damages.

**(End Bonus)**

**(Marrying Sanzo)**

Sanzo: I hope we don't meet the author today.

Hakkai: You mean Michiru?

Gojyo: She's hot for a sixteen-year-old honey.

-Something falls out of the sky and lands on Gojyo's head-

Gojyo: OI! What the Hell?

Michiru: Oh Sanzo! Did you forget about our wedding?

Sanzo: Shit!

Goku: A wedding! Will there be food?

Michiru: Of course there is food Goku!

Hakkai: It was really nice of you to drop in and remind Sanzo.

Sanzo: Don't encourage her Hakkai!

Gojyo: Get off of me you stupid bitch!

Michiru: Bitch?

(Two Minutes Later)

Gojyo: What… ow… the… ow… Hell… ow…! –tied to a rope that is moving across the ground on a rocky road-

Michiru: You called me a bitch you stupid Kappa!

Sanzo: I'm still not marrying you.

Hakkai: By the way Michiru, how did you get here?

Michiru: I'm still wondering that myself.

Gojyo: Bitch… ow… Bitch… ow…!

Goku: I want some meat buns!

Michiru: Ok let's go!

Sanzo: Go where?

(Two Hours Later)

Sanzo: You Bitch! Untie me right now! –tied to a pole next to a old priest-

Gojyo: You're lucky. I'm the piñata. –hanging from a tree tied up-

Goku: -Stuffing himself with meat buns-

Hakkai: Aww… I'm going to cry, our little Sanzo is all grown up. –cries-

Sanzo: When I get out of this you are going to be dead Hakkai!

Michiru: Sanzo my darling! You look all handsome in your suit. –dress in a wedding dress and holding a shotgun-

Priest: Do you Michiru take Sanzo to be your husband till death do you part?

Michiru: I do!

Priest: Do you Sanzo take Michiru to be your wife till death do you part?

Sanzo: I do… -stares at shotgun in his face-

Priest: Then may I pronoun you man and wife! You may kiss the bride!

Hakkai: -crying- This is such a happy day!

Goku: These meat buns are the best!

Sanzo: Shit!

Michiru: -unties Sanzo and kisses him- I'm so happy!

Gojyo: You stupid bitch! Let me down from here!

Michiru: -grabs a rubber sledgehammer and whacks Gojyo with it-

Gojyo: OooooIiiii! –flies into the star and becomes a star-

Sanzo: I have to admit, that was a good shot.

Michiru: -snaps figure and everything disappears- Well that's it for my fanfic! Hope you give me some feedback. Plus I might make another chapter when I finish my next fanfic!

Goku: I need more meat buns.

**End…**

Gojyo: What about mmmeee! –still flying though the air-


End file.
